I never took chemistry in school. That stuff seems entirely too taxing for me. Besides, I just don't trust those chem dudes. When the pocket protector geeks mass, there is always trouble a-brewin'. And don't tell me that nobody uses a pocket protector anymore. Those things still exist. They just come in the form of those computery gizmos the eggheads wear on belt clips. These guys still can't get a date. The really cool English/Journalism major dazzlers like me traffic in strained metaphors and tired cliches. Open any urban rag these days and some nerd reporter is waxing all poetic about the importance of team chemistry. How lame is that? Is it any wonder we can't get dates either.
It's bad enough prose pushers buy into this nonsense but Sabean has soaked millions into this Lifetime Movie of the Week pap. Having a sharing and nurturing clubhouse is all well and good. Having a den of surly, distant and troubled me first creepos who actually win games is better. I don't have to share a soak in the whirlpool with any of these guys. I don't have to swap tax dodge schemes or agent horror stories. I am not going to any strip joint with any of these people. I don't care if they like each other or like me. Get me a few unseemly miscreants who fulfill my dream of a Giants World Series victory during some period of my life cycle and I am sleeping easy in my eternal rest.
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You had Jeff Kent fill the bill in 2002. Thre may never be a bigger jerk than that available to get you back to the WS in your lifetime.
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