Because I Care

So, the Dodgers are coming to town and I guess they still retain some smoldering ember of hope for a post season berth in their tiny little pretend hearts. The Giants, alas, have no such flicker. This is vexing and tragic enough even in years when the Dogs are forlorn also rans as well. Still, I find that I am oddly serene. What a perplexing notion.

Has the fact that I have been pummeled by a quixotic alchemy of repulsion and attraction to the Giants this season inured me so completely from the unholy certainty that the Dodgers are Beelzebub's Nine? Why can't I work up some righteous fervor for a spiritually cleansing sweep of the offending pile which magnificently castigates that evil spawn to a long and remorseless winter. That's always a good thing, isn't it?

I would like to chalk up my new found ambivalence to a sudden jolt of maturity and perspective. That can't be it. I don't do maturity and perspective here. Petulance and hyperbole is my game and that season never ends, Padre.

Serenity is an ill fitting jacket. What has this season done to me?

Casting Stones

Once upon a time the Giants used to toy with the Rockies at Corporate Naming Rights Park. Once upon a time really good looking chicks used to give me the come hither look too. Things change. Now the Rockies think they are pretty good and they know the Giants aren't. They are bold enough to take a whiz on home plate and claim it as their turf. This is distressing. It's like this whole Justin Timberlake thing. It doesn't make any sense.

The Rockies have never been the least bit helpful before. They don't appear to serve any purpose this year other than as a crushing reminder that the Giants sit 10 games behind them in the standings. Next they will be telling me they found David Lee Roth and Eddie Van Halen playing Canasta at the home and convinced them the world needs another tour. That can't happen, can it? 50 year old rock stars, 40 year old ballplayers? When are they baby boomers going to realize they are now the aging hipster, declining relevance, middle aged boomers. You don't think Barry Bonds appreciates all those non taxing walks? We all do, man..

So what were we talking about? Oh yes, the upstart Rockies with their silly looking black biker vest unis. That is not a good look. There is a pseudo Oakland Raiders vibe in those jerseys, though in a vastly less threatening and more wholesome way. Maybe you won't get knifed in the stands but the Rockies will still find a way to kill the Giants every chance they get. It's an ugly tale with a sinister plot and it festers still. Sadly, there is no equitable revenge to be realized here. The Rockies aren't going to the post season so sweeping them even farther out of the race will not balance the karmic scales. As if anything could.....

Young Turks

If I justed wanted to hang out, slug back a few brews and sneak around with strippers, I think guys like Aurillia, Roberts and Durham would be great company. They seem like nice guys and, like me, they have certainly put in a number of years breathing air. Do I want to watch them play baseball? I would have to say no. It's not as if I am a complete creepo trying to deprive them of their dreams. They have enjoyed long careers and have millions of bucks in the bank.

This pretty much parallels what I have here at EMS. As crafty as I have been climbing the corporate ladder to the penthouse office of Strawman Towers, I also realize that the day to day leg work of irresponsible journalism is a job for younger limbs. I don't like my young serfs any more than Bochy likes Kevin Frandsen but I do understand their value. They are cheap and energetic and I can always blame them for dumb decisions I make. What could be better?

I long ago purged the good clubhouse guys and replaced them with hungry young sharks who live only to serve my needs. Sure, the old dudes always have to wash their hair when I call them up for golf but I don't have to explain their bloated contracts to the missus either.

Our motto here is "Younger, Faster and Healthier." I don't really believe any of that crap. I am, however, quite enamored with cheaper.

Sabes and Boch are my age. It's never easy to teach old dogs new tricks. I resist change as much as the next Neanderthal. But if I can have some sort of epiphany then so can they. Hire some young players under 30. They have far more nubile and less jaded strippers in their posse. It just makes sense.

Air

There must be a 1000 ways to say the Giants suck and it has always been my intention to explore each and every one. I have been noticeably slack in this mission of late. I would like to offer some sort of excuse but, sadly, general laziness is the culprit. I have been a very poor role model for the junior staffers.

Strawman Towers is abuzz, abuzz, I tell you, about the Rajai phenomenon. If there is some available ying for the disastrous yang enveloping all things Giants these days, how sweet would it be for young Mr. Davis to be that celestial messenger. Getting rid of Morris and his accompanying contract anchor was a lovely bit of providence. What a nice little bonus it would be to have Rajai emerge as a symbol of the hopeful possible instead of yet another agonizing disappointment. We are collectively holding our breath.

Still holding....

Still holdinnnnnggggggggg...............

Sorry, I can no longer hold my breath. I have ordered a couple of my underlings to continue holding their breath while I symbolically participate. What the hey, there are always more junior staffers where they came from.

Now that I am fully oxygenated, I just realized that the Giants are playing the Braves tonight. John Smoltz is pitching. I don't like our chances here. Once we are able to revive them, I will have the minions again hold their breath for a Giants win tonight. I have learned from my 8 second ordeal that there is a beautiful power in breath withholding. They will thank me one day.

Friday Drivel

Every once in awhile the universe throws out one of those imponderables. Tonight the Giants face a guy who regularly gives up 6 runs in the first inning. Normally it takes the Giants 3 full games to get 6 runs. The immutable laws of physics will surely be in play tonight. Something will happen and it won't be pretty. It's too complex for me to unravel. I will leave it to the philosophers to unwind that little chestnut.

Ah, but the weirdness has already stepped in. Under what alternate reality scenario do the Giants trade a useful player to the Dodgers? Doesn't that seem just the least bit odd? I could see dumping some horrible contract on the Dogs. That would be right and fair but Sweeney is pretty cheap. In addition, he may have a good source for eye openers should any Dog poopies need a little boost. His value in the clubhouse is immeasurable. Don't you just know he will break up a Lincecum perfect game bid with a 2 out pinch hit home run in the 9th. Trading with the excrementals is never sane..It can only end badly.

Will we be looking at the smallest crowd in the history of Corporate Naming Rights Park tonight? Orange Friday may clash horribly with the sea of empty green seats. Krukow may not even need the eliminate me pen tonight.

One to Go

I have been on the planet for quite awhile now. I have witnessed two different guys pursue the all time home run record. These things are never easy for the players involved. Number one, hitting home runs is hard. Hitting home runs when so many people wish you wouldn't can't be very pleasant for anyone.

Hank Aaron is taking heat these days for not embracing the Bonds pursuit. Though I believe Aaron is a true gentleman he is not immune to human emotion. While he was going for the record in 74, I wasn't all that pleased. I didn't care that he was breaking Ruth's record, I was mightily indignant that it wasn't Willie Mays hitting 715. Willie was and remains my one sports hero. I thought Hank was a great player but just not as deserving. I ramped up all the excuses. Willie lost 2 years to the army, Willie had to play in cavernous home fields while Aaron got the launching pad, Willie was the ultimate team player who would happily fore go the home run to win a game some other way.

Mays was the man. The player of the century as far as I am concerned but he would have faced just as much scorn and abuse as Aaron did had he been the one to break the record. Not only for the ugly racial hate but also because baseball fans don't particularly cherish players from other teams. Fans respect talent but they love their own guys. I would wager that Yankee fans didn't think Aaron was as deserving as the Mick. Reds fans probably think Frank Robinson was the guy who really should be regarded as the best home run hitter. Fans tend to root more with their heart than with their head.

Now comes Bonds and his pursuit is as chock full of vitriol and sturm and drang as Hank's. We still have tinges of racial animus, steroids and money swirling around. We have fans who want Barry to break that record and fans who really, really don't. There isn't a whole lot of middle ground.

If I live long enough I suppose I will see another guy climb this mountain. I am certain that when that day comes the moment will still be as full of angst and bitterness and yes, joyous celebration as the last two times.

However, like Hank, who is entitled to his opinion, and Bonds, the next guy will have earned this record. He will deserve our respect if not our devotion.

Right now it's Bonds who should be accorded all the accolades. He did it. I say well done, Barry. Bravo!!!

Thursday Throwaways

I was just talking to some of my counterparts at the Proudly Bland Association( PBA) and they are as up in arms as any proudly bland person can be about Bochy. The concern is Boch' has carried his own unique blandness to even blander levels then the BPA recommends. Paper towels generate more excitement than Mr Vanilla. Consternation amongst the bland is not a pretty picture.

When is MLB going to finally address that crucial rule change that allows for ghost runners. How many times do they have to see players cruelly felled by hamstring pulls running the entire 270 feet from 1st to home before they act? Sure, these guys are highly paid athletes but to expect a guy to run for 15 straight seconds is inhumane. Ghost runners save on laundry costs too.

It's bad enough that Furcal and Pierre are Dodgers but do they have to emulate Neifi Perez too? As punishment for those ridiculous slug bunt deals they should be forced to listen to the complete Barry Manilow catalogue performed by accordian players jamming with bagpipers. They do that every day over at BPA. Seligula knows the secret handshake. Let's facilitate this punishment post haste.

Rajai is really fast and he made a nice throw. He will remain my favorite Giants player up and until such time as he does something to vex me. I am nothing if not fair..

Pigs do Fly

Who knew? Matty Mo pitched and bitched his way to the Pirates and Sabean looks like a shrewd horse trader again. Of course, Sabes positively gushed about what a great "get" Morris was a couple years ago. He was a bulldog and a fantastic clubhouse guy that would prove to be more valuable than mere numbers could ever show. I guess that was just before he started questioning the company line. "I am not sure what the goal is here." If Morris didn't understand the 'ride the Bonds gravy train' mentality when he signed his deal he clearly wasn't paying attention. Perhaps he was blinded by the money. He wouldn't be the first player afflicted by that big potato.

Anyhoo, Sabean now has 10 million more bucks to play with this winter. Normally, that is a good thing but Sabes and money burning a hole in his pocket has not been a particularly productive tag team lately.

The Giants have been playing a bit better lately. I have no idea as to why such a thing is occurring but let's not mess it up by questioning good fortune. Since I have been irrevocably tied to this mostly unrequited Giants fan straitjacket type devotion, wins, even few and far between, are always welcomed.

Rajai is a good name...

A Wee Bit

Dear EMS,

You guys are hopeless, and I suspect very short midget gas bags who don't know Jack about baseball. You just criticize without ever offering any suggestions.

Sincerely,

Grandma

Fair enough. Put this in your pipe and smoke it granny.

With all the normal caveats that none of this will happen, our current staff recommendation is to offer Randy Winn*, Dave Roberts, Patrick Misch and 3 million bucks to the Twinks for Torii Hunter. The taller staffers are somewhat skeptical but the little dudes are right down with this deal.

The Twinkies would get two players under contract for a couple more years, a promising young lefty and enough cash to even out the dollars this year for a guy who will cost a whole lot more next season and will probably be collecting those checks from some other team.

The Giants get a very nice CF for the rest of the year and open up an outfield slot for Freddy or Schierholtz. Hunter most likely would be nothing more than a rental and leave as a free agent next year but that's not the worst case scenario for the Giants. A team that really, really, really needs to reboot the farm could make good use of a couple of compensatory picks should Hunter bolt. The nice bonus would be payroll clearance with Roberts and Winn under performing elsewhere.

Or Sabes could just sit on this little gold mine he has built here and do nothing. He is not a particularly tall man. Perhaps it is best to lay low. As if he could do otherwise.

* Yes we know Randy Winn has a no trade golden parachute and he could put the kibosh to the whole deal. Just work with me here, people.

Little Person Hops

There is a profound sense of anxiety permeating through the corridors of the EMS corporate office. If Bob Costas can be called upon the carpet for commenting on a sport he has never played or knows jack about, where does that leave us here in Strawman Towers? We exist only to offer unenlightened opinions about stuff we know little about. I have a full time staff devoted to nothing but inappropriate journalism. We have never owned a baseball team. Should we be therefore shamed into only offering glowing testimonials to Magowan? Have we been grievously untoward to question the wisdom in ballplayers hanging out with strippers?

We certainly understand the immense power we have as inappropriate journalists from the countless emails we get telling us about how many times we have turned someone from the dark side to the nirvana of our unique and clearly superior world view. We take few stands here. We are basically just in this thing for the chicks and the insane salary. Still, we simply must be able to freely criticize, unfairly, free of the criticism from those little people who have never spent years in blog training. Bad mouthing the Giants is a right, man

What with all the nastiness surrounding various professional sports figures these day it will be refreshing to see the out pouring of love from the SF fans for Armando Benitez this weekend.


I will be off to the wilds of southern Oregon for Mrs. Swing's family reunion. The EMS universe will be on hold for a few days.

Thursday Thoughts

I heard that Barry Bonds called Bob Costas a midget. It's probably an understandable, heat of the moment, off the cuff type of statement but I wonder what sort of self image body blow Bonds' lack of little people sensitivity will have on the vertically challenged Ray Durham. I am guessing Marvin Benard is already rounding up past Fightin' Hydrants and any available ladders to climb up and punch Bonds in the nose.

Speaking of Marvin, the Giants need some better stank eye. They seem like decent enough guys but they sure don't appear to fire up easily. Couldn't they at least pretend to get pissed off once in awhile? Then again, they do have their people to handle that sort of thing, I guess. Maybe, their wives and mistresses could have some sort of throw down in the stands. I am not convinced it would lead to any more wins but it would be a sure fire ratings winner. Just a thought.

Nice win last night. Lowry was great and Feliz is having one of those tantalizing hot streaks that convinces Sabes to bring him back and give him a nice raise every year. Apparently, Sabes is away on vacation during those much longer periods when Pedro is in his demoralizing cold streaks.

These Kids today

We are at the crossroads here, people. Maybe other teams will take the assorted detritus of despair the Giants run out there every night. While that doesn't seem likely anything is possible, I guess. For the sake of argument and my sanity, let's just say the Giants can open a little roster space. What comes next?

My secretary has a great big crush on Larry Baer but even she refuses believe the rebuild talk coming out of the front office. We just can’t imagine Mags willingly fielding a lineup of unknown quantities. Unfortunately, we don’t have to imagine the known and frightening quantities out there now. We would like to believe that would be enough to induce a sea change of a Pacific Ocean type scope and grandeur. We are used to being disappointed, though.

No matter how the staff massages the reports the data remains consistent. The Giants don’t have a lot of options that vary much from the limited options they generally endure. Trading highly coveted players is tough enough. Trading highly un-coveted players is like wrangling coherence out of Ozzie Osbourne. Still, it’s certainly worth the old college try. Otherwise Mags will have to buy into a few more contracts to eat so that the mythical young players, just waiting to emerge, can be squeezed onto the big club. If they can jump over that enchilada then Sabean must somehow be convinced that young players do not represent all that is evil in this world. Again, a nasty leap of faith there, I tell you. After that, the final level on the Wii only comes by cajoling Bochy into benching the remaining oldsters and tolerating the cruel fluctuations of agony and ecstasy that are the timeless certainties with young ball players.

Will Mags jump at this opportunity to rebuild knowing that the front runner butts may well be vacating their lucrative seats in the ol’ ball yard if the local nine is as anonymous as a composite drawing? I doubt it.

Post Viral Musings

I don't know about you but I am pretty sure I didn't grow up clinging desperately to the trade deadline as the highlight of the season. It's not like I was all that intuitive and wise either. I once spent 2 and 1/2 hours at a Rare Earth concert listening to them butcher their ridiculous 5 song set. There is just so many times a band can go to the 15 minute drum solo well but the guys apparently didn't get the memo. I am vaguely certain that I was experiencing some sort of altered reality at the time but even that couldn't steel me sufficiently for such horror. Of course, it wasn't as bad as the Jan Hammer Group at a Day on the Green, but what could be?

Speaking of classic rock, I am guessing middle aged, northeast coaster Sabean has a lot of J. Geils on his I-pod. If he has a Matt Morris for a bag of three day old donuts trade in him, it would certainly blow my face out. I could forgive Bochy's Carpenters collection if he would actually let someone who wasn't alive when the Four Seasons were topping the charts play. You just know that Mags has an Air Supply poster on a wall in his house somewhere.

I am sorry for the grievous break in the action here but the staff has simply been flummoxed by the Trojan Vundo of Satan that has toyed with us relentlessly the last few days. Sure, I like the penis enhancement pop ups, they are always informative, but the 10 thousand other daily spam reminders are taxing the mainframe aplenty. Hopefully, the tech staff has this thing ironed out but every time I go down to the dark cellar where I keep them chained to their servers, I smell reefer and Rare Earth is on full blast. Technology is great right up to the moment it isn't.

Sorry

I have had a tough day battling evil and pernicious computer viruses. This may be the same bad juju infecting the Giants. I will be back to driveling soon.

Sell This Team

Given any option at all I would happily fill my tv viewing hours with sports, the History Channel and Skinemax. However, as a fully domesticated 21st century husband, modern mores dictate that I must devote at least one hour a week watching some show that Mrs. Swing and I can enjoy together. We watch Sell This House on A&E. I am not being noble here. While the show is actually quite informative and helpful, I just watch for Tanya Memme. She could repaint my rec room anytime, if you catch my leering drift.

Every episode is based around what home sellers need to do to entice potential buyers to cough up the offers. Big, beefy Roger, the power lifting decorator, coldly shames the homeowners into dismantling that life size replica of Vince Lombardi built out of beer cans they have in the living room. The black and orange wallpaper in the den is replaced by just the right shade of mauve. Following a couple of dumpster loads of almost every other thing not nailed down, the offers pour in. It's simple, easy and cost effective. Ah, were it only so for your San Francisco Giants.

Despite every trick Roger has at his command, the poor decorating choices Sabean has made can not be so readily dispensed. It's like the billboard sized matador on black velvet has been welded to the wall above the the mantle. TNT couldn't move that. The pecky cedar paneling is as institutionalized and permanent as the pyramids. The avocado colored kitchen appliances run on kerosene. George Clooney couldn't even get lucky with post stir Paris Hilton on that purple shag carpet in front of the pellet stove. Mere cosmetic changes are well nigh impossible to pull off when the foundation has dropped two feet under the garage. The Giants have become that shack under the airport landing path, next to the sewer treatment plant, infected by root rot. The local Hell's Angel chapter just moved out of the neighborhood because it had become a bad influence on their kids.

Never have Roger's special gifts been more in demand.

Dodger Blues

The conventional wisdom winging around cyberspace seems to be split into two camps. One side is convinced that extending Sabean means Bonds will be shown the door after the season. Others argue that Bonds will be back next year because Sabean represents a stay the course strategy. While I possess some conventional wisdom (I picked up some very helpful hints at the last convention in Orlando) I have no theory to offer. I am only truly confident in postulating that whatever the Giants do or don't do will both confuse and vex me. I know that building a World Series winner is more art than science. Fine. Get to painting!!!!

Losing is bad enough. Losing to the Dog Poopies is like chewing on tinfoil. Can there ever be anything honest and beautiful in this world when Jeff Kent and Brett Tomko get to enjoy even a moment of pleasure?

Few things in life will ever be more important than Morris pitching a 2 hit shutout on national TV today. The difference between a shutout or giving up 6 runs in the first inning can not be understated. Pitch that gem and the Giants might be able to trade him for a marginal, though still breathing ball player. If Morris gets rocked Plan M comes into play. We really don't want to see Plan M implemented.

What do the Runes Tell Us?

Returning from their extended vacation, the Giants start the second half on Friday the 13th. Has there ever been a more apt omen of pain and misery than that? Fortunately for the superstitious players, there is no inconvenient winning streak forcing them to wear the same socks until the they lose a game. In fact, Magowan is already complaining about the massive sock budget. These dudes have to change socks almost every day.

After consulting the Shaman we keep on retainer here, we are seeing signs that the Giants will indeed play more games. That appears to be almost certain. The Shaman is waffling on the winning part. While he is supremely confident the world will end on February 8, 2047 and that Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump will secretly marry next month, he just won't commit to any Giants win. I am not at all sure why I keep this clown on the payroll. The Giants will win a game sometime in the second half. I sense it. I sense that I will soon be partying in the Rio with Salma Hayek too. One of these visions has to be true doesn't it?

Here's to rubbing that lucky rabbit's foot.*

In other news, Bochy just announced that he will be resting the vets tonight because the grueling 4 day break has just wiped these guys out. Can you imagine the strain these players endure from just lugging their wallet around? When you couple that with slow room service and particularly energetic strippers it's a wonder sometimes these athletes can perform at all.

* Of course, luck is relative. Next time you see a three legged rabbit ask him how his luck has been lately.

Get Back to Play!!

Did I mention that I hate off days? I guess, on some sort of primal level, I understand the hurdles in traveling clear across the country and still squeezing in a twi-night double header are daunting at best. Still, these guys are paid well and they get really good looking chicks. I say playing everyday is not nearly as taxing as sneaking around with strippers. The problem for me is the gravy train around here doesn't stop because these pansies need 3 or 4 days off. My staff doesn't come cheap, you know. It also interferes with my pursuit of strippers to sneak around with to have to come up with make do work for the help. The lack of new things to whine about while the Giants extend their R&R compels me to rehash the ongoing non- story of the week; The Sabean Saga.

Two questions appear to be at the core of the matter. Why does Magowan want Sabean to stay and, more perplexing, why does Sabean want to stay? It could be that the reports of the Giants offering an extension are bogus. It could be...

All right then, sir, what else is happening? It looks like Ichiro is re-upping with the Mariners. Scratch him off the list. Torii Hunter dissed Corporate Naming Rights Park the other day. Put him into the "I like the school system in every city other than San Francisco excuse" category. Free agent hitters haven't demonstrated a strong desire to come to the land of 410 foot fly ball outs lately so restocking the easy way with strapping young sluggers (and their corresponding stripper gaggle) is probably a sweet but ultimately crushing dream. I am getting a strong Mike Cameron vibe and that is never healthy. I am somewhat assuaged by the fact that Mike is still only in his middle 30's so the inevitable multi year Cameron contract is probably 5 years away. I could be killed in a tragic kiln accident by then.

Did I mention that I hate off days?

Mr. Mays

The Giants don't do much winning lately but they do ceremony better than anyone else. The tribute to Willie Mays was fabulous. There certainly wasn't a dry eye around these here parts. Willie became my one enduring sports idol when I was 7 or 8 and to this day remains a direct connection to heaven between my dad and me. My old man taught me many things and learning about Willie was one of the important lessons. That I still get a thrill whenever I see Willie is a sweet testimony to baseball, fathers and sons and Mr. Mays himself. Well done.

Now from the sublime to the ridiculous, the current state of the Giants. What to do. While my heart says sell, sell, sell, my head says listen to your pancreas. That organ offers a reasonable argument for making some trades but not necessarily for minor leaguers. I am not sure I want to see a bunch of non shavers out there on the field next year. I clearly don't want a bunch of aging dollar vacuums either. Ideally, the Giants should have a better mix of fresh faced kids, reliable players in the middle of their career and some crafty older vets. Lavishing a 100 million clams on some guy who is already in his 30's does not seem like the best of ideas. Spreading that dough around to some younger and hungrier vets in their mid to late 20's makes more sense to me. Easier said than done, though.

And who will be the puppet master? Reports this morning indicate that Sabean might be back after all. Those voices that TV reporter back east was hearing may have been drunk. At any rate I suggest close police scrutiny on this journalist. What are those voices going to instruct him to do next?

The Sabean Watch

I have had my people contacting other people who might know people who could be Sabean's people and all these people are saying something. I don't know what they are saying but I am certain it is pertinent to the issue at hand. Is Sabean cleaning out his locker today? Some obscure TV reporter in some obscure town on the East Coast claims he is hearing that Sabean will be severely axed over the All Star break. The dude apparently has extraordinary ears.

If Sabean is indeed the proverbial toasted pastry can Lou Seal be far behind? Mags is surely not going to limit his scapegoating and insistence upon underlings falling on sacrificial scimitars to just the GM is he? When the purge comes it will be bloody and frightening. Mike Murphy will probably get a sweet golden parachute but almost everyone else will be scorched, baby. Greg Papa is a steady journeyman. He will land softly somewhere. I worry about Bip Roberts.

Speaking of Lou Seal, Fuego has been absolutely tearing it up in Fresno. Where he used to struggle with the rubbing the bald guy's head gag, he has worked on that shtick religiously. It's now a strength. If he can get some sort of handle on high fiving third base coaches he could help the big club right now. No doubt Fuego is jonesing about the Sabean regime coming to an end..He didn't put in all this time in the bush leagues just to sit behind Lou for two or three seasons before he gets the opportunity to do the tee shirt toss everyday. Fuego is hungry...

Monday, Monday

I find that I am not at all interested in the All Star Game. It's a meaningless snooze under the best of circumstances. If the Giants had more than one participant I might work up enough enthusiasm to bust away from stripping the deck to watch an inning or two. Then again, probably not.

I loved the original Home Run Derby TV show they had in the 60's. Of course, I was 9 years old at the time. This lash up they run now is as stale and uninteresting as the parade of pastels and clever little wines up in the corporate boxes. Let's add some spice. The contestants not only have to hit a home run but they have to go into the stands and fight the memorabilia dealers for the ball. If they hit one into the cove, they should have to swim out and fetch the ball then jump on a unicycle and pedal around the park. They could seed the water with sharks for an extra challenge.

I wonder if they will pad the ball dude roster with all stars as well. They could bring in movie stars who have portrayed baseball players. Kevin Costner must have 30 baseball movies under his belt. He could be one. John Goodman did the worst imitation of a ball player since Anthony Perkins. That should be enough to nab a spot on the little stool. Robert Redford is over a 100 years old. He seems ideal. Tony Danza!!!

I caught about 30 seconds of the Futures Game and saw Brian Bocock actually draw a walk. In all the excitement he must have forgotten that he is a Giants farm hand.

What are the chances Seligula will crash the Jay-Z party? Bud seems terminally stiff but maybe that's just his public persona. A couple of belts and he could be dancing on the bar in his tighty whites. You never know.

Checking In

So....Just got back from driving with the lovely Mrs. Swing and two of the junior Swings clean up to South Dakota. We made the Jackson Hole to Reno run yesterday which featured the blazing desert fire march along almost the entire I-80 corridor of Nevada. Through the smoke and dust and 50 mph winds I finally was able to tune into the Giants game just outside Lovelock. The first thing I heard was Ray Durham grounding into a double play and I knew I was home.

I just perused the World Wide Web and I see that Freddy is back, Nate is gone and there appears to be any number of new middle relievers. I also see the assorted changes have not moved the Giants out of last place. I don't seem to have missed many wins.

I guess I will have to gather up the staff and begin anew with the thorough and important research we do around here. No more sucking up the easy money on the DL. Time to go to work, work, work. Well, maybe after the All Star Break.

Holiday Road

I will be maintaining radio silence for a week or so. We are loading the kinfolk into the Family Truckster and heading for the hinterland. Be good. I will be back soon.

Better Living Through Chemistry

I never took chemistry in school. That stuff seems entirely too taxing for me. Besides, I just don't trust those chem dudes. When the pocket protector geeks mass, there is always trouble a-brewin'. And don't tell me that nobody uses a pocket protector anymore. Those things still exist. They just come in the form of those computery gizmos the eggheads wear on belt clips. These guys still can't get a date. The really cool English/Journalism major dazzlers like me traffic in strained metaphors and tired cliches. Open any urban rag these days and some nerd reporter is waxing all poetic about the importance of team chemistry. How lame is that? Is it any wonder we can't get dates either.

It's bad enough prose pushers buy into this nonsense but Sabean has soaked millions into this Lifetime Movie of the Week pap. Having a sharing and nurturing clubhouse is all well and good. Having a den of surly, distant and troubled me first creepos who actually win games is better. I don't have to share a soak in the whirlpool with any of these guys. I don't have to swap tax dodge schemes or agent horror stories. I am not going to any strip joint with any of these people. I don't care if they like each other or like me. Get me a few unseemly miscreants who fulfill my dream of a Giants World Series victory during some period of my life cycle and I am sleeping easy in my eternal rest.

Don't Leave me Standing Here

Baseball seasons are long and winding roads that lead to your door. I have seen that road before and it always leads me here: The EMS annual June 26th State of the Giants Report. I have had the staff finessing this report for weeks now, milking every nugget for whatever gold might be discovered therein and we have concluded that we have no idea what state the Giants occupy.

Roster instability is to be expected. Few teams end up with the roster they had in April. Our Personnel Directer, Paul creates a pool every year where we all guess who will be on the 25 man roster on June 26th. Oddly enough, not one poolist had both Luis Figueroa and Guillermo Rodriquez in their square, though George in Food Services did have Joe Roa.

We are not seeing a cavernous, gaping maw of difference in the talent level of the Padres and the Giants. We are also not seeing any clear cut reasons why the Padres are pretty good and the Giants are pretty something else but we also thought that no one would ever want a cell phone either.

Nick Noonan. Who knows if he can play or not, that's a great name. We are seeing serious potential in that name.

Quest For Fire

The universe has certainly taken a turn toward the surreal when the Padres are a better team than the Yankees. While a two game win streak is much sweeter than a two game losing streak things get tougher tonight. Can the Giants win against a team that doesn't have Miguel Cairo playing first base? I say yes.

Based on nothing more than a hunch and a stubborn belief that the Giants are due a break or two, we may be in for a stretch of at least semi-winning baseball. The starting pitchers had a catastrophic week or so but I am guessing they all haven't suddenly gone bad on us. Though the pen has been a little hashed lately with overuse, they haven't been awful. The offense will never even resemble the timeless efficiency of the US Postal Service but some guys seem to be coming around a bit.

This creates a quandary among the Lunatic Fringe elements (btw, I am running for Secretary/Treasurer this year). Do we want the Giants to win enough that Sabean might be tempted to keep his trusted vets and maybe add a crucial piece like Julio Franco? No, that doesn't seem like a good idea. Still, I am not so jaded that I want the team to lose either. Winning is fun..Losing, not so much.

On the other hand, a fire sale seems like the most cathartic course to chart. Unfortunately, most of the guys we want fired probably won't be. I hate to be an alarmist but we may be looking at pretty much the same cast of aging outcasts next season too. It will be no easy task to find takers for the untakeable though it is a worthy quest. If finally figuring out how to build a World Series winning Giants team out of the dying embers of the last 3 years isn't the noblest of heroic journeys, well, I am afraid I don't know what is. But that is a mountain to climb another day. For now, a few wins would be nice.

RIP Shooter

Rod Beck was a bulldog and a great Giant. This is a tough one.

Sunday Morning Coming Down

Well, I feel better. I realize one win does not a juggernaut make. The Giants will still wake up this morning with the same abundant horn-o-plenty of troubles and woe they have suffered from all June. But it was a win, pilgrim and I am way into wins. The redemptive power of my set of mercenary rich guys beating their set of even richer guys is profound. The lesser angels of bitterness and shame can take the morning off. How sweet is that?

Speaking of angels, Villalona is playing ball in the AZL. I am normally reticent in believing 16 year old boys can do much other than sleep in their clothes, sleep in class and eat but Angel has to be more. All he has to do is become a perennial all star, put up MVP caliber numbers yearly and lead this team to an unprecedented string of World Series domination. And, I would like to see that starting with his September call up this season. No pressure, kid.

As stem winders go, Bochy's last two tantrums have displayed little of the maniacal performance art a Lou Piniella or the rosin bag grenade throwing dude in the Atlanta system can muster but he shows promise. It used to be you could buy a paint can of Bochy Vanilla right off the shelf. No mixing required. Now, there might just be a dash of Desert Sand in there. A few more bad calls at first and he may go all Antique White or, dare I say, a saucy shade of Egyptian Cotton. I am not banking on a full Beige yet but he still might make it to Bleached Tusk. A glossy latex finish is probably out of reach, though.

The Tears of a Clown

The hoi polloi were out in force at the old ball yard last evening. Though the Yankees and Giants match up has lost most of its cachet (its sashay too, I imagine), there was a certain air of nostalgia hovering over the scene. The Giants and the Yankees are old school icons in a world where people believe naming teams after fish is cutting edge. While the Yankees will undoubtedly make some sort of splashy trade next month and climb into contention, the Giants may be experiencing the last weekend of the season where PACSBCAT&T Park is the hot spot for the elite to meet and greet. The All Star Game will draw the glitterati but that's not the same thing as trying to draw 8 thousand paying customers when the Pirates come to town. We live in ephemeral times. The next big thing is always just around the corner, except for the Giants who's last big thing happened before Elvis came along.

Billy Crystal and Robin Williams were there last night and I believe they showed up because they are actual baseball fans. I like that trait in people. Baseball is good. Crystal lives in NY so we probably won't see much more of him but I suspect Williams will be back. The Giants disease ravages the rich and famous too. These next few months will separate the hardcore wheat from the "I am only showing up because it's trendy" chaff. This will be a tough slog for the faithful but the faithful have to show up. If not, they simply confirm Magowan's long term claim that his fan base will jump ship at the sight of players they don't know well. Magowan doesn't think much of Bay Area fans, but I do. He says you will never stand for a rebuild. I think that is insulting as hell. I realize Mags is in fear of the leg breakers at Chase and waking up to Lou Seal's severed melon in your bed is down right scary but here's hoping he finally sees the value in building a self sustaining system that doesn't rely on recognizable players, years past their prime, just to soak you for a few extra shekels. It's been proven conclusively that Giants fans have a long attention span. The true believers just don't go away. Mags will lose the casual fringe by rebuilding with some hungry young players but the Lunatic Fringe isn't going anywhere. Stars are entertaining but so is winning. Why don't we shoot for that.

Lava Daydreaming

The Giants may have finally hit pay dirt. There is some exciting news coming out of Salem, Oregon(and how often can anyone say that?) in the volcanic form of Shane Turner. Like Krakatoa, East of Java, he has burst forth in a rush of molten lava so unlike the disappointing and dormant Volcanoes we usually get. He is no Angel Villalona, who seems to only exist in imagination at this point, but Shane has been erupting all season to the tune of a 1.125 ops. That is smoking, people! Sure, he's only had 10 ab's so far. False hope has been built on less. The dude has a jack, a walk and a stolen base already! The Giants haven't had that rare combination of speed, power and patience in one their farmhands since...well...never. Or maybe it just seems that way.
At any rate, I am clinging to this guy for all I got. He hasn't buried my hope like Pompeii yet. I believe.

There were folks who decided to just ride it out rather than evacuate when Mount St. Helen's blew. That was a singularly bad idea. So was making a movie with Pierce Brosnan as the Bond, James Bond of vulcanologists. It just doesn't play. The world is full of nasty volcanoes and bad ideas. The Giants have added more than their share of the super charged and blazing hot igneous boulders raining down death and destruction from the sky in ill conceived notions. Except for that one time.

Barry Bonds was the greatest free agent signing of all time, in any sport: 14 years of immense production, a beautiful though heavily mortgaged park and a steady stream of paying customers willing to cough up 10 bucks for a beer. It just never lays out better than that. But, the thing is; You only get one of the greatest free agent signings of all time gifts. The fire gods are harsh. They give you a nice sunny morning and that one good thing, then bam! In sacrifice, you must hurl yourself into the crater and immolate on a pyre of smoldering greenbacks torched by signings of the likes of Brett Tomko. Payback is a cigarette burn on your new couch.

Surely, Mags isn't so arrogant and foolish to believe he can fool Vulcan and his posse and replicate the Barry Bonds orgy of good fortune by signing A-Rod. Pete, did you sleep through all your humanities classes in school? Messing with vengeful deities can only lead to a bumpy ferry ride on the River Styx. Back away from your A-Rod lust and you have a chance. The fire poo bahs understand baseball. You had your quick fix in Bonds but now you have to work under the radar. Build from within. Don't succumb to the feel good..Do the dirty work. Don't tempt the fates.

A Nearly Unforgivable Faux Pas

I have been decidedly remiss in publicly offering my sincere thank yous to my son Tom. He shares more than little blame for the acorn of an idea that grew into the mighty sapling that is EMS. An unwitting English professor innocently suggested that Tom start a little blog to chronicle his adventures in New York City. He drew me into this sordid enterprise by assuring me that at least some person somewhere would link our blogs even if was just he and I linking each other. He reads EMS every day and offers smart criticism. I have to pretend to ignore him to keep that whole stodgy old man /rebellious youth thing percolating but his input helps more than he knows.

Since I am a hopeless dinosaur, about as technical as a spoon, Tom's help in setting up this site has been crucial. He has shown remarkable patience. He is a good guy and I hope that you will take the time to read his stuff. Other than his strange insistence on putting me on hold just to take his girlfriend's calls, I have no complaints.

Oops...Tupperware Party Thursday

Yeah, I know things tend to even out. I can vaguely imagine that the Giants will win another game sooner or later. They may even win more than one. I realize that's a pretty shallow grave of dead certainty but the Giants are testers. Being a fan should be an easy enough day hike but they have given us the Himalayas and Magowan is too cheap to provide decent Sherpas. We are not talking a quick 20 minutes on the stairmaster here. This is crossing the Atlantic in a row boat with half an oar, running the marathon in flip flops, holding your gut in for three hours at the swimming pool, understanding women and passing kidney stones hard. The Giants make you earn it. We have only reached the cat days of June and I am already scrambling for solace. Why, Why, Why???

But enough about me. Let's talk trades. Phil over in Accounting is pushing that Morris and Durham to the Mets for any breathing entity deal. Phil's an idiot, though he is clearly a savant when it comes to manipulating both sets of books we maintain here at EMS. He may have stumbled onto something. Surely, the Mets would like another starting pitcher. Jose Valentin is as consistent and dependable as Courtney Love. Durham might be just what the doctor ordered. I have to believe we could get something good in return. Actually, I don't have to, I want to believe. Don't roll your eyes at me, sister.

Along with the 10 other viewers who didn't switch over to the Weather Channel after the third inning yesterday, I watched the whole damn game. There were highs and lows aplenty and all the drama of a very special episode of Full House. The Brewers fans were certainly yucking it up and having a grand old time. Their team is winning and they get to wear plastic cheese things on their heads. Even the most jaded fan understands the value in that. Tomorrow, Corporate Naming Rights Park will be overrun with johnny-come-lately, bandwagon hopping, superior attitude toting, shiv packing Yankees fans. That is too grim to even think about.

Speaking of Milwaukee, anybody else catch the forlorn shots of Magowan in the stands. He didn't look amused. Well, hard cheese, man. If we aren't amused, you don't get to be either.*

* Mary Alice over in PR said I have to up the rant level because this is apparently sweeps week in the blogosphere. I hate it when the suits try to commercialize my art but Chase Manhattan Bank is holding a mighty large mortgage on Strawman Towers.

A heads up

I would urge any and all readers to click on the Only Baseball Matters link. John has hit a home run with his latest piece.

Ends and Odds...

Big D over at Giants Win pointed out something today guaranteed to bring you right down. On July 22, 2006 the Giants were in first place in the west at 51 and 47. That would be the day Benitez gave up the portend of dark doom jack to Termel Sledge that sent this whole deal spiralling into pain and despair. Since that brief, shining moment in time the lads have slumbered their way to a smokin' 55 and 78 run. Some of the fresh faced and eager young minions working for me here at EMS are starting to lose faith. A lot of the botoxed and not so eager staffers are folding up on me too. Time to focus on the good things..

1. Corporate Naming Rights Park is a lovely place to watch a ball game.
2. er.......
3. ???
4. sigh....
5. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The laws of supply and demand are always in play. The Giants have a deep surplus of aging and expensive players. I demand they be traded immediately. Unfortunately, other teams operate under the precepts of supply and demand too. I am guessing they won't be demanding aging and expensive players any time soon. I suppose if the Giants were to in fact supply other teams with a nice fat check to cover their salary for the next few years along with the aging and expensive players, we could be talking turkey. Or maybe Belgium.

Always willing to buck conventional wisdom the Giants are now exploring the obvious benefits of having a 33 year old rookie on the team. Sure, winning games is important but so is that seal of approval from the Gray Panthers. Surely, there must be compelling reasons why a player spends 10, 12 years in the minors before becoming the crucial missing link that ties this baby together like the perfectly aligned DNA strand that is Kate Beckinsale, but I blindly reject them as invalid and possibly ageist. Let's keep good thoughts.

I am all for individuality and self expression. However, I believe the root word for uniform is...uniform. How can the Giants present a united front if they all wear different sleeves? If half the team is wearing their pants like knickers and the other half is holding them down around their spikes with the same little elastic strap my mom used in 1961 to keep those kicky little stretch numbers sitting just so, what are they telling us?

What Made Milwaukee Famous

Are the Giants now the Buckhorn Beer of the NL? I am thinking they probably don't even rate that high. The generic swill they used to flush into the plain white can is probably a closer fit. Sure the stuff gets you drunk but it's a bland, colorless drunk. There's a pretty apt metaphor for your San Francisco Giants. The descent from a fine pilsner to Hamms in the 'Keg Can' is a tough and somber journey.

Maybe a stinking pub crawl on a three day runner of fried pork rinds, Camels and Falstaff is the best way to get through this season. The whole debacle is taking on the delightful bouquet of a projectile vomit fest. As nasty and odoriferous as that burning morning after grinder is the agonizing epiphany that the Brewers are doing things better than the Giants on almost every level.

In the starting lineup tonight they had 7 youthful and cheap homegrown ball players. That the Brewers figured out this is a good way to do business while the Giants were shooting Burgies in their car is both stunning and sad. Signing washed up old has beens is like picking up a sixer of Old Milwaukee. Can this ever be a satisfying choice? Regal Select, maybe, but Old Milwaukee?

They say you really only rent beer but why do we have to go all out Pabst on 3 year contracts. Anybody can slag down an Oly but who wants to saddle up to that bar night after night locked in by a no trade clause. Are you really aiming high if tonight you let it be Lowenbrau?

While I realize that crying in your beer is kind of pathetic, I am sensitive. This thing is hobbling me like a high school bladder. Honey, can you bring me a Schlitz?

Hey, Put a Little Mustard on That Thing...

Sadly, as the season droops like my no longer magnificent abdomen over the waist on the white Sansabelt pants of remorseful destiny, the late 70's are coming back like a cold sore on your wedding day. You could pretty much count on this same abysmal behavior by various Giants squads all through the horrendous disco years. There may, in fact, be some sinister correlation between the two events. That should perhaps always remain a mystery..Two things we do know, the Brewers were pretty good then and the Giants occupied some other reality.

Whatever the Giants are preoccupied with now is oddly reminiscent of that dark and forlorn time. While I certainly like the night life and I like to boogie on the disco round as much as the next guy, I just don't want to relive this. Why do the Giant feel compelled to go all David Soul on us now? Haven't we suffered enough? Put down the puka shells, men. If the ugly realization that the Brewers are better than you doesn't snap you out of your funk, what makes you think popping on a leisure suit will improve your chances to score?

We just can't be having another ghastly dry spell like you accosted us with in the late 70's. We can't! We can't! That we probably will gnaws at me.

On a completely unrelated note, the Wiener Races are upon us again and that is always big fun. I am a little concerned by the trustworthiness of the results, though. Lately, Hotdog, all loaded up with rat feces, horse genitalia and obviously human growth hormone, has been dominating this event. Why isn't Mitchell investigating this? The numbers never lie and the numbers are telling a scary story.

Bratwurst 4
Polish Sausage 9
Italian Sausage 5
Hot Dog 14
Chorizo 5

That's overall wins, people and that's scandal with a capital S. You can't tell me Hotdog works any harder in the off season than Polish Sausage. That dude is one whama jamma kielbasa and he can't buy a break. Bratwurst sucks but that's a given. To see Italian Sausage come back from that unfortunate boiling incident and perform as well as he has is heartwarming(or maybe heartburning after 6 pm). It's clear they rushed Chorizo too soon but that's Selig for you. Somebody needs to be raked over the coals here until we can get some answers. If we lose our belief in the integrity of the Wiener Races, what's left?

Odds and Ends...

There are any number of viable reasons why the Giants offense tends to slumber. I mean traveling to Boston is like way far, dude. That sort of trip would tax even the heartiest grandma I know. And nobody can ever convince me those bats aren't heavy.

The Giants still appear to have some nice pitching prospects in the minor leagues. One could argue that the franchise has a bit of a surplus of young arms, particularly since they just drafted 200 of them last week. Here's a thought certainly worth dismissing after limited debate. Why not trade some of those minor league pitchers for some minor league position players? Is there some ritualistic code of the scouts that disallows this practice? I am putting the staff on the case.

Speaking of the staff, there are quiet whispers rocketing around the corner offices at the palatial corporate headquarters here in Strawman Towers. In hushed but urgent voices the questions linger. Who is Brian Horwitz? What does he do? Does he merit any further study. Why are they asking me? Are those real?

Are the ball dudes starting to die off? They seem to be running out a bunch of 35 year olds lately instead of the kindly old gents we have come to know and love. This perplexes me some because the Giant do seem to value the kindly old gents they parade out in the lineup every day. Let's try something different. Why not have kindly old ball dudes and sprightly young ball players? I am willing to accept the addition of sprightly young ball dudettes for purely prurient reasons but that is perhaps best suited for examination in a different forum.

Express Yourself

The Giants have issues..I think we can all acknowledge that in a meaningful and non judgemental manner. The lads could and probably should address their personal challenges in an open and free exchange of supportive consensus building dialogs designed not to threaten but to connect. Perhaps they could engage in some sort of collective and cleansing group hug on Oprah..Maybe a quick get away to an Iron John sing-along is in order. Or...they could just get into a senseless and life affirming benches clearing brawl. There is always therapy to be mined there.

I fully cop to a fondness for Quiche but I am guessing a full on Fight Club over some slight, perceived or real, is almost as therapeutic as a contract extension for these guys. I don't want to see some sort of passive, pretend fight Mambo either..I want the the kind of manly barn burner where jerseys are ripped off, eye black and blood run together like a fine Goya, Renel comes down from the booth and pops some dude just because she can and Randy Johnson ends up wearing a Giants hat, even if he isn't there.

Bochy has an enormous head. Let's get some use out of that. Can you imagine the massive Cocoa Butt that guy could lay on someone? As long as you don't step on his big toe, Kuiper would be mixing it up like a farm boy. You know Krukow is just looking for any excuse to go off. Sure, Magowan would hide behind Sue Burns but she would be throwing hay makers for the both of them while Baer would be huddling with the money people to see what kind of scratch they could glean from the pay per view rights.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, fighting never solves anything except for when it does..Time to go coats off, gentlemen. Think of the children.

Trade Me or Trade Me!!!

I'm guilty. We're all guilty, man. I want the Giants to win now except for those times when I want them to win a few years from now. I am always quite certain the Giants are just one puzzle piece away from a lovely seascape or an adorable little kitty with big black eyes. But then I am always thinking that if the Giants would just trade away everybody they don't want or need, I could gladly table Valhalla for a couple of rebuilding years. That seems like the sensible plan only mitigated massively by that nagging, niggling little notion that other teams aren't exactly clamoring for players the Giants don't want or need.

Luckily for me, naval gazing this dichotomy is nothing more than an intellectual exercise. While I am not long on intellect or enamored with exercise, my foolproof master plans for Giants domination will never result in implementation. This is surely for the best. Even my hand picked staff of supplicants can't contain their derision at the very thought of me as a GM.

Sabean, on the other hand, is the GM and mostly likely the lamest of lame ducks at that-not personally lame, the goatee and the Patrick James corporate casual gangster shirts are cool- but lame in the sense that his paychecks from Don Mago will be going into witness protection about twenty seconds after the season ends.

Still, Sabean has the job and everything, and I mean everything, good and important in this world is riding on what he does with Matt Morris. Does he trade away a pitcher who helps him win now even though now doesn't seem like a strong contender for reality? Does he trade him for a rental who will inevitably ride the Boras train to LA for a stint with the excrementals first chance he gets? Does he trade him for that mythical, solid, everyday, regular under 30? I am not sure the Giants are even legally allowed to possess such a beast but I am willing to risk relentless prosecution to find out.

No pressure Sabes. The multitudes are down with you, baby. We are just demanding that you make it all better now. Or make it better in 2011.

Digging..

Pitching is the name of the game. Well actually, Baseball is the name of the game but they could call it anything and the Giants would still find a way to vex me. Conventional wisdom has it that good pitching beats good hitting. Hurling convention to the wind, the Giants have good pitching that can't even beat bad hitting. Not many teams in history can make that claim, mister.

The remarkably accommodating and placid Giants offense has no problem suppressing its collective and possibly phallocentric urge to score runs. Yeah, they do go all Neanderthal from time to time and pound out 15 runs against the Rockies but that is sooo Pleistocene. We have evolved, damn it! Is slapping out extra base hits, even rarely, (and nobody does rarely like the Giants)truly a reflection of the Enlightenment? What sort of character flaw festers in me that makes me want the Giants to score more runs than the barbarians. I am not a glutton, though sloth may indeed apply. Score more runs two out of three, three out of four times and I am one happy cave dweller.

Apparently, the Giants are in possession of some entity referred to as a bullpen. Future archaeologists may postulate that these bullpen folks emerged as foragers intent on saving things but I am guessing they won't find much evidence to support that wacky theory.

I think Mr. Oop sums it up best.

"Starting pitching, good"
"Offense, bad"
"Bullpen?"

Whither Freddy?

Cruelly felled by the now chic oblique strain, the rest of Freddy's season is in doubt. Verily, the rest of his career may be teetering on the abyss. Or not. EMS cannot and will not predict the future though we will offer easily deniable and hardly plausible guesses. Does Freddy have a future? Lets examine some earlier beta versions of the fast as hell, though slappy hitting prototype. For the sake of clarity we will refer to these previous releases as Winn and Roberts.

Bouncing back and forth like Pong between the minors and the big club in Tampa*, Winn logged 800 semi sporadic ab's in the three seasons after debuting as a 23/4 year old in 1998. When he emerged as a regular Devil Ray (Though I imagine most Devil Rays prefer to think of themselves as special Devil Rays) in 2001 he was pushing 27. He posted modest but respectable numbers. His ops was .740. By 2002 he became the player he is now. He is good enough, or his agent is good enough to be playing under a nice 3 year deal for millions of clams. Still, after 800 ab's Winn's career ops was under 700. From humble beginnings, yada yada yada...

Speaking of humble, Roberts was damn near invisible in his 20's. He popped up in Cleveland when he was 27 posting a forgettable ops of .589 in 143 ab's. After that he spent an extended sabbatical in Palookaville before becoming a semi regular, as some sort of penance, I suppose, with the Dog Poopies at age 30. He has proudly not hit much ever since but his one parlor trick has convinced Sabes that he simply must give him several million bucks and he must do it now.

Freddy's small sample size legacy doesn't appear to be a whole lot different in scope and range to both Winn and Roberts. I don't know how much scope Freddy has but he does possess good range. That is a bonus because he takes really weird routes toward fly balls. Anyhoo, Freddy clocks in with a .739 career ops total after his initial 101 official ab's. Can't tell much from that, can we? Winn is a steady big league performer and he's at .767. Roberts quietly chips in at .711. That the Giants have essentially three different versions of the same model can't be tossed off as coincidence. There is a plan, man..

* We know that referring to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays as a big league team stretches credulity like spandex on Livan, but if we are going to claim the same distinction for the 07 Giants we have to be flexible with our standards.

Thank You

Just wanted to take a moment to thank some folks. In no particular order:

When I first started my little meanderings here, I Googled my site every few days to see if it would show up. It took awhile but my first hit showed a nice comment from Big D over at Giants Win. I don't want to admit that I am needy, well maybe a little needy, but that was some sweet reinforcement. Thank you, sir.

When I first discovered the blogosphere and found there were actually people out there writing about baseball and the Giants, John Perricone was the writer I went to everyday. I started citing things he said to win arguments. He is one of the guys who got the baseball/Giants genre going. That he chose to link my little 'messays' is very cool. Thank you, John.

Martin Lee of ObsessiveGiantsCompulsive is a writer who really thinks about this game. I love his stuff. He never rips me when I try to go highbrow and analytical. Thank you, Martin.

El Lefty Malo might just be the hippest hipster in the Giants Blog Canon. He patiently took the time to explain some blog etiquette to a rube from Reno. Thank you, Lefty.

Grant..What can I say. He is the snark master and one of the funniest people I have ever read. Despite the fact that I shamelessly rip off his style, he was gracious enough to add me to his blog roll. How cool is that? Thank you, Grant.

Thank you to all the folks who comment on my stuff. It is wildly appreciated.

Lastly, a big group hug to my brethren and sisteren over at the New Cafe Giants message board. Misery loves company and you guys are great company. Thank you for not holding this place against me.

Draft Day

So today is the big day. The staff and I will be glued to our vast array of monitors carefully tracking a bunch of guys I have never heard of. Oh, I have sort of heard of a few of these fellows. I think Beau Mills used to play for Fresno State before transferring for "academic reasons." This may indicate that Mills is extremely focused. It can't be easy to flunk out of Fresno State. This kid had to work for it. However, if he gets drafted by the Giants and goes on to be a regular 30 homerun guy I am going to see to it he gets an Honorary Degree from Harvard.

Unfortunately, it appears as though the Giants are going to continue their pattern of drafting every college pitcher in the land. At least that's what the pundits seem to think. One of the junior staffers around here added the caveat that the Giants only draft college pitchers who are the cheapest to sign. Needless to say, I fired the whippersnapper on the spot. Our philosophy at EMS clearly states that grasping for straws is not only good policy it is essential to the growth of strong healthy bones. I will fearlessly cling to my dream that the Giants will draft and develop some stud position players. I will, I will!... and you can't stop me.

Useless Filler for a Wednesday

I was more than a little intrigued by Bochy's statement that Bonds was available for pinch hitting in the 9th and that they considered using him but went with Alfonzo instead. He said Alfonzo has been swinging the bat well lately. What???

I realize Bonds is hurting but he is always a better option than Alfonzo, isn't he? If he was truly available, which has to be called into question, a Bonds ab may well have netted something useful. The most likely scenario is a Bonds walk. Okay, you bring in Freddy to run and the inning turns over to Winn. Not the worst outcome. Bonds could have hit a homerun. He does that sort of thing, you know. Again, not a bad outcome. He could have made an out too. But at least you are providing a better chance for a baserunner than what Eliezer provides. I know Eliezer. Eliezer is a friend of mine. But Eliezer, you are no Barry Bonds.

Speaking of Bonds, how about a little thinking not only way out of the box but all the way out of the plant where the box was manufactured. Let's go back to tree level. The Giants have 105 or so games left. Why not just schedule Bonds to start every other game? You would get him 50 more times in the starting nine and he would have 36 to 48 hours, or more to recuperate after every game he plays. He should be able to get the necessary number of jacks he needs to pass Aaron in 50 games. It would keep him fresher and give the Giants a chance to see what they may or may not have in Lewis and Ortmeier.

Of course, knowing Bonds is not in the lineup on a given game will likely put a damper on the gate and the evil Mags can't be having any of that. Sure, it's clear the staff here was particularly drunk when they came up with this hare brained (and isn't that more than a little demeaning to rabbits) notion but we are all about the adrenaline rush here at EMS.

Is it Krukow's Fault?

I say no. Sure he is a homer who is loathe to criticize ballplayers. To be certain, he looks for the bright and sunny flowers in the field of decay every chance he gets. This doesn't make him the bad guy of the piece. The Giants front office has villains o-plenty.

Still, Krukow gets a lot of world weary tsk tsking amongst the true bluers for not speaking truth to power (or is it proof to tower?)as the cliche goes. I revel in my lack of logical thinking but I am unable to grasp the connection between bad mouthing the paycheck signers and believing that if only Krulow would speak up the Giants would suddenly change their pernicious modus operandi. Does Krukow actually have this sort of power and would he truly only use it for good? As any respectable fanboy will tell you, super heroes usually have to dance that delicate ballet of responsibility; either helping out the good folks of Gotham and Metropolis or getting sideways with winsome and easy Eurobabes. I know which way my sword of justice would be heading.

Cyberspace is roomy but I am not sure even this vast expanse has adequate volume to house a list of the problems the Giants experience daily. It's a sad litany of remorse and confusion. It's the "World's Largest Ball of String" of Gordian Knots. It's gone beyond human comprehension. Krukow is just a minute, though thankfully, happy go lucky quark in this implacable punch list of bad design.

I am bitter enough on my own, thank you very much. I don't need Krukow to give voice to my horror. He doesn't have to be my champion.

The Giants Tend to Hack..

The lads in the Orange & Black, apparently in response to Ted Robinson's elitist and incessant charge that baseball games are too long, pretty much swing away every chance they get. Other than Bonds and to a far lesser extent, Durham and Klesko, these guys have exorcised the passive from the passive/aggressive paradigm; any thing to get that game in under 2 1/2 hours.

52 games in, 155 walks. 54 of those lovely and offense enhancing free passes come from Bonds alone. That means that the other 25 guys who have flailed away senselessly for the Giants this season have chipped in for 101 walks. If we eliminate the 3 relievers who have amassed 3 ab's this year then 22 guys have conspired to to keep those base paths in their pristine pre game state.

Durham and Klesko, in age and infirmary limited ab's, have combined for 27 of those 101 walks. Eliminating the ab's by the starting rotation seems fair. Those guys have suffered enough from the Giants refusing to take walks and the pen refusing to strike anybody out. That leaves 15 Ronco Hackmasters fighting every urge to swing, swing, swing for those paltry 74 walks.

That averages out to 7 walks per hacker or about 1 walk every 7 games or so. There may be some sort of insidious force at work here. How else can you explain a normally dependable guy like Winn eking out fewer base on balls in more ab's than Feliz! That may happen in the universe where Spock has a goatee but it can't possibly be true in this final frontier. Can it?

What a Breath of Clean Fresh Air

Benitez has indeed shuffled off to Buffalo and it appears a Reno boy is coming to the Giants. Whoever the Giants got was going to automatically become my favorite Giant but this is a nice little topper.

Benitez was bad but would have been slightly more tolerable if he had any idea how to fake humility. "I did my job" has taken on a new and sinister connotation. Ballplayers can always get away with that old chestnut, "You never played so you have no idea how good I really am", but even Superman strung out on bad Kryptonite can see through the "I did my job" bit. Benitez rarely did his job and "it was those other guys who soiled my genius."

Benitez is simply the most appalling example of the myriad of nasty issues facing the Giants. They still have a pretty crappy pen, they can put more guys in line at the AARP office than they can actually keep upright enough to perform poorly on the field. Things still look more than a little bleak but...I feel better already..

Through the Eyes of Children

I have a 7 year old son who thinks I am the smartest, bravest, and yes Virginia, coolest guy on this planet. We play nerf basketball and I can get to the cup on him every time..I dominate the plastic with impunity. Sure, I am 3 feet taller but it's a tough world out there. He is a remarkably cute kid but I have had way more girlfriends. I have more money in my wallet. I get to stay up past 8 o'clock, even on school nights!!! But this kid has the one thing I sadly don't..He is young and with the advent of modern medical science he actually has an outside chance of seeing the Giants win the World Series in his lifetime. I am jealous as hell.

I am dealing with a lot of guilt here. It's bad enough that my birth probably caused the drought. I was born in January of 1955 which apparently caused some sort of rift in the fragile fabric of baseball karma. But, I have also subjected my innocent and blameless children to the accursed wrath of the baseball Gods. I exposed them to the Giants. It's possible that my grown kids no longer believe me to be the smartest, bravest or even coolest guy in the neighborhood anymore. I blame the Giants in general and Brett Tomko in particular for that fall off the pedestal. I just hope they can forgive me one day.

How does a father explain to a child that the Rockies, yes those Rockies, just swept the Giants in SF for the first time ever..What an incredible body blow to the psyche that must be. Next he will be thinking there is no Santa Clause and Big Time Wrestling is fake. Where will the madness end?

I dropped him off at school this morning and he gave me a nice hug to start both our days off right. He is a sweet boy yet I am feeling that odd mixture of horror and pride. He pulled that Giants hat down a little tighter as he ran off to the playground. What have I done?

Drafted but Unsigned

The draft has been around since 1965 and the Giants have had their share of hits and more than their share of misses. Just for giggles and perhaps as a cheaper treatment than primal scream therapy, I decided to compile my all-time drafted by but unsigned team in Giants history. Bonds is also be the star of this squad. There were some others who chose to fore go signing with the G's but still put in time in the orange and black later on. Von Joshua, Rennie Martin and Bud Black fall into that category, some falling more deeply than others. So here goes...

Davey Lopes 2b drafted but unsigned in the 8th round 1967
Jody Reed ss 1(15) 1982
J.D Drew cf 20th 1994
Barry Bonds lf 2nd 1982
Pete Incavilia rf 7th 1990
Ron Roenicke 3b* 29th 1975
Greg Norton 1b some round in the 80/90's that I forgot to write down.
Toby Hall c 24th 1995

Brad Lidge cl 42nd 1995

I guess Bud Black would be the opening day starter.

Some pretty good players and some journeymen. Losing Bonds in 82 was a tough blow because he wouldn't join in the fun for 11 more years. Jody Reed was a first round pick who didn't sign..That's seldom cool and he did have a decent career.

Sure it's easy to lament the tragic misses who actually did sign on the dotted line.
It takes some real deep rooted issues to fixate on these guys. They say drafting is an art and not a science. The Giants management team embraced their right brain creativity in a lovely gallery of "Dogs Playing Poker" draft artwork.

* Yeah, I know Roenicke was an outfielder but the staff here makes all the rules and we decided he could handle the hot corner in a pinch.

Welcome McCovenites

I am going to watch the game now but I will get something new up today. Thank you all for stopping by. Very special thanks to Grant for adding me to his blogroll.

Bunts?

I am not a big fan of the sacrifice bunt. I understand there may be a time when it's a good strategy, particularly when pitchers are at the plate but mostly it's just giving away outs. Should this Giants offense give away outs regularly?

A few games back, Ryan Klesko had a big game and included with a jack and a double he had a magnanimous and fundamentally sound sacrifice bunt. But why? If memory serves, and mine seldom earns a fat tip for service, Randy Winn opened an inning with a double and Bochy had Klesko bunt him over to 3rd. By the way, I don't really know much about Bochy but he appears to embody a palette of colorless imagination that leaves me begging for the complexity of beige. However, that is a horse of a different color. I believe we were talking about sacrifice bunts.

Klesko's bunt worked. Winn got to third and eventually scored. There were compelling reasons to let ol' Klesko swing away too. Winn was already in scoring postion. Klesko tends to pull the ball when he hits it on the ground. Teams have taken to an over shift when he is at the plate so it's no secret. He is also a big strapping lug that can get an extra base hit setting up a possible crooked number inning. He may have struck out but Winn would still be in scoring position.

Instead, the Giants chose to give up a lot of the potential good clean fun of a big inning and engaged in a strategy that was already old and lifeless when John McGraw was a young manager. It was the safe thing to do. It's certainly been a time tested maneuver. I am not busting Bochy or the Giants for this. You see teams bunt that guy to third in the same situation quite often...It makes me grind my teeth almost every time it happens.

I fully cop to old fogeyism but even I am willing to embrace a far more judicious use of the sacrifice bunt. Swing that bat. Let's get a petition drive together.

You Had Me At Hello

Fearlessly jumping back into the world of 4th grade long division and small sample sizings, I thought I would look at the numbers posted thus far by the three-headed rookie monster. This plucky trio of Freddy, Danny and Kevie ( it's cool, we're tight) has combined for 107 pleasant and surprising official ab's since finding their way to Sesame Street.

AB 107
Runs 19
Hit 35
RBI 16
2B 5
3B 3
HR 1
BB 9
Avg .337
Obp .379
Slg .457
Ops .836

Try as I might, I just can't find much to complain about here. I may be falling in love. Of course, it's a long season and scouting reports work the room like Alyssa Milano at the All Star Game. The bad guys will figure out where the weaknesses party and exploit them cruelly. Whether the lads can adjust right back remains to be seen. The smart money would still counsel trepidation and foreboding as faint images of multitudinous busts burn like so many razor cuts to the eyeballs but I say let's live in the now, man. Well, done young Giants

So...Runs?

For no apparent reason, other than my own general inquisitiveness, I chose to look up the stats for the last several years to see how this Giants bunch compares in runs scored..Employing my admittedly weak long division skills, I divided the runs scored by the number of games played to get a per game average. I rounded off because my current level of geekiness is already way too high. So...

2002..4.8 runs per game
2003..4.6
2004..5.2
2005..4.0
2006..4.6
2007..4.4

What does it all mean? I don't know. The 02 team went to the World Series scoring at a 4.8 clip. For those of you who are math gifted: Is 4.8 runs scored compared to 4.4 a huge difference over the course of a season? It could be the difference from finishing 1 game out of the playoffs or playing for the ring.

Still, the 04 team scored at a 5.2 clip and finished out of the money. A quick guess would suggest the Giants didn't pitch all that well in 04. 05 is easy enough to understand. No Bonds. You could argue that he makes up a big chunk of that run scoring average all by his lonesome..

Anyhoo, the Giants are currently scoring at their lowest rate other than the Bonds-less season. But the starting pitching has been very, very good..The pen is up and down yet the Giants are scoring more runs than they are giving up. The big blowout over Colorado is driving that oddity. 500 teams don't usually outscore their opponents.

Do the Giants trade away a starting pitcher for a bat that can get them closer to that 5.2 runs they had in 04 or even the more modest 4.8 that got them to the seventh game? Again, I have no idea..

Oh, Those Base on Balls...

Numbers are weird. They are all orderly and well behaved but ultimately mystifying and magical.

Barry Bonds just doesn't do things the average Big League Joe does. When he is hot, he is otherworldly. He centers up every ball he hits and does more with the one or two hittable pitches he sees a game than anyone ever. That's a given. What makes him astounding is he also has the best slumps in the game.

Most guys go into a funk of ghastly and mythical proportion. They seem to always be 0 and 2 in the count and off balance. The resulting stats are as dismal as Cliff Clavin's babe conquest scorecard. But not Bonds. BB is 7 for 37 this month for a cool .189 batting average. 4 of those 7 hits are of the extra base variety. Other than the little dribbler to left a couple nights ago, Bonds has been hitting what he hits pretty hard during this drought. He is not striking out at an alarming rate and of course he is being walked at a relentless and astounding level. 19 walks In May!!!. When pitchers actually let him swing the bat this month, they are getting him out 81 percent of the time. Timid managers and nibbling pitchers ( and thank Gaia they are so nervous) are keeping Bonds more productive then almost anyone else on the team even through a grim stretch with the lumber.

Though his numbers this month are well below his norm, he is still getting on base at a .464 clip. His 4 extra base hits have kept him at a respectable .459 slugging percent. The Dude has an OPS of .924 during a slump! Who does that?

At the other end of the spectrum is Randy Winn. He has 23 hits this month alone. His average is .397. His slugging percentage is a very nice .534. When he swings the bat he is a dangerous hitter at the moment. Pitchers should be avoiding this guy, especially since the rest of the lineup isn't doing much this month. Yet, Winn has just 2 walks despite being in the middle of a smoking hot streak. His ops at .951 for May is only a fraction better than Bonds at .924.

Like I said, numbers are weird. To be certain, Bonds has a fearsome reputation and pitchers are afraid to give him much. Bonds will continue to be walked and an otherwise flaccid Giants offense will benefit tremendously from this generosity. Eventually, someone will decipher the code that unlocks the hidden secret which can only bring panic and despair to the land. Let's hope they don't figure it out any time soon.

You Really Like Me

Sports Illustrated has a feature in their magazine where they poll current ball players about various things, i.e. (Who has the nastiest curveball?) or (Who is the fastest runner?). In the latest issue the players were polled on two questions. Who are the most and conversely least friendliest guys in the game. Players could not vote for people on their own team Sean Casey was the overwhelming choice for friendliest player by his peers. 46% named him as the number one Mr. Rogers in the game. The next 3 on the list are Jim Thome, Mike Sweeney and Dave Roberts.

The least friendly list is interesting on many levels. The players voted Bonds as the least friendliest. He was the choice of 26 percent of his fellow big leaguers. Not all that surprising since Bonds gets bad press and ball players can be just as influenced by that as anyone else. Interestingly enough, Bonds polls much better in the NL west. The players who have the most opportunity to engage Bonds like him better. This doesn't surprise me either. The more often you interact with a person the more facets of their personality come out. I have never been closer to Bonds than a seat in the stands but his on field demeanor has always struck me as pleasant. He chit chats with opposing players, picks up a tossed mask for a catcher on the other team and high fives his team mates. Anyway, Bonds is Bonds and he was going to be on the list whether deserved or not. It's the next two names that are disconcerting.

The number two vote getter on the "this guy is a dick list" is the monumentally unloved Jeff Kent--Number 3 is the decidedly undelightful AJ Pierzinski. That's right, current and recent former Giants make up the Axis of Evil! I am not sure the general goodwill Roberts generates balances the force here. Unlike Bonds, who polls better among guys who know him better, Kent polls far worst with those who know him best. 30 percent of the NL West has this dude as the least friendliest.

I liked Kent when he was a Giant. He played hard and put up the numbers. AJ was pretty easy to despise early and often. As a fan, it really doesn't much matter to me what the players think. I usually like the whoever resides on the Giants roster at any given time and root relentlessly against those "other people". The names on the rest of the top 10 make that pretty easy.

4. A-Rod
5. Randy Johnson
6. Curt Schilling
7. Jose Guillen
8. Milton Bradley
9. Jason Kendall
10. Chipper Jones

So What Do I Know?

Right up until it didn't it looked like the Minute Maid Magic was still on full jones. Then, the ridiculousness of the park reared its silly little short porch. The Giants hoped they were getting a cute little number like this with their inviting band box feature in right. Fortunately, nature has a sense of humour and she willfully kills almost every ball not hit by a lefthanded hitter named Bonds.

Corporate Bell Park has emerged as a pretty fair yard for pitchers while not completely destroying offense. Bad players have more to do with that. Still, the place seems to cry out for a change in structural roster thinking. While the Giants understood fairly quickly that pitchers would do better and loaded up accordingly in the draft, it is only recently that Sabean has sought an advantage for the offense. Speed, speed, speed..Sabean still hasn't completely bought into the theory that patient hitters get on base more than brain dead hackers, but he has filled his farm with really fast guys.

Will this pay off eventually..I have no idea...It does seem worth a try, though.

The Happy Place

Like a tall glass of OJ to start your day, Minute Maid Park beckons with the promise of a bright new day. The Giants are sitting on a 20 and 5 stretch at the place and are coming to town ridng on a full on Freddy Lewis crest. The relentlessly .500 playing Giants have a chance to pick up a few wins.

Morris and Lowry are nice ground ball pitchers which goes a long ways towards negating the short porch and the sad little train. Lincecum is simply the karmic ramifications for a team playing in a field once named for Enron. To be certain, the Halfasstros must eventually beat the Giants in Houston at a furious clip to even things out but the feeling among the staff here is that the purge continues.

The Giants sweep and and fulfill their daily Vitamin C quota.

Tis' a happy place..

Happy Mother's Day

What a sweet day for the giants and their respective moms. I like the pink bats and the pink wrist bands but in a manly way..

oops..

That didn't line up very well. Sorry.....

If anyone actually reads this and has some technical know how, would you please drop me a line with suggestions on how to correct grievous nonalignment's in the future..Thank you in advance.

Cheery Theory

We're still in the small sample size modus here on May 12th but in a weird and twisted way the numbers may provide for a bit of hope for the moribund offense. If we go by the theory, perhaps tragically grasping for straws, that players eventually end up with stats close to their career averages, there may be some gold to be mined here. Lots of guys are performing under their norms.

.avg. .obp .slg .ops
Vizquel .242 .293 .290 .535
Career .275 .341 .359 .700

Aurillia .266 .313 .395 .708
.278 .331 .442 .773

Durham .268 .338 .382 .720
.281 .354 .442 .799

Roberts .216 .283 .371 .654
.267 .342 .371 .713

Feliz .248 .281 .459 .739
.252 .288 .437 .725

Molina .315 .350 .486 .836
.276 .312 .410 .722

Bonds' numbers can never be adequately compared with our limited knowledge here on Earth. His stats may be rather mundane numbers somewhere in the universe but not here.

But I digress...

According to my "Cheery Theory", we can reasonably expect Vizquel, Aurillia, Durham and Roberts to eventually hit much better. Winn should stay about the same and Feliz is eternal(and not in a good way). Only Molina may be subject to the laws of gravity. His numbers will probably drop unless he is having a career year..I would be in favor of that.

Of course, there are always surprises. Who would have guessed that dude Jacob would be invisible? Still, there could be a ray of sunshine in the threatening skies..

Or not....

Sometimes you just have to be lucky

A little reshuffling of the roster 6 weeks into the season is not a bad thing. You never know when injuries will pop up and it was clear that Linden and Niekro weren't much help.

At this point of the season teams aren't all that interested in trades so the Giants had to fill from within. Lincecum was a no brainer. He was dealing in Fresno and is a particularly shiny attendance draw for a stadium with more empty seats than usual. It's that pesky little problem of the lack of no brainer callups from the position player ranks that rankles.

Schierholtz is hitting very well and he needs to because he almost never walks. He also took a page from the Niekro playbook when he injured himself just as an opportunity with the Giants came open. Ortmeier is frighteningly reminiscent of Linden. Timpner is reputed to have a glove and some sense of what it's there for but also never walks or gets extra base hits. The other guys who may someday emerge are in the low minors. Last night Fresno ran out only 2 position players from their own system (Timpner and Knoedler which sounds like a juggling act from the Shrine Circus) and 6 career minor leaguers from other organizations.

So that leaves Freddy. For no logical reason, I am guessing Lewis will be one of those guys who is a better big leaguer than any sane person could reasonably expect. Every once in awhile a player just sort of puts it together at the right time and in the right situation. Dan Uggla is a recent example. He floundered around in the minors for 6 years never really impressing then had a great season for the Fish. Can Freddy be a guy like that?

I say, why not? The law of averages dictates that eventually Feliz will lay off a slider in the dirt and the Giants will get a real spark from one of their farm hands. Benevolent fortune has to smile sometime, doesn't it?

The Todd is gone

Though technically not a 1st rounder, Linden more than qualifies for the parade of busts the Giants have had with their premium pick outfielders. Painting from a palette of Steve Hosey, Adam Hyzdu, Calvin Murray, Dante Powell, Tony Torcato and Todd linden would tax Van Gogh. I am pretty sure I would whack off my own ear to get the Giants a nice studly young stick or two in the upcoming draft who won't have to spend years in the minors before lounging at the far end of the bench only to be DFA'ed in favor of a couple of equal or lesser clones.

I like Freddy, he can run and we don't have enough guys in the bigs named Freddy, but he is pushing 27. Ortmeier is a little younger but he is likely just keeping the seat warm until Roberts or Eric Davis become available.

Linden and Torcato were rude to a friend and me in a Scottsdale hotel once, and who could blame them, so I am not all that sorry to see him go..Still, I would like to see somebody, someday get to the majors in his early 20's and actually be good..He doesn't have to be great. I am not unreasonable. Solid is okay with me.

The Giants have had some success drafting and developing pitchers so maybe they could do the same with a position player.

Naw..Who am I kidding here?

Hi

I thought I might give this blog lashup a go. Eventually, I will figure out how to do stuff and link like a rabbit. I hear you can even post pictures and videos though the knowledge of the type of skill set necessary to pull those aces from my sleeve eludes me for the time being. I will figure it out eventually.

As for content, it will be mostly Giants meanderings but I can't be restrained, damnit! I will simply be compelled to comment on a wide range of madness.

I have no idea where this will lead...